{"id":586,"date":"2025-08-21T17:26:18","date_gmt":"2025-08-21T17:26:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/?p=586"},"modified":"2025-08-21T17:26:18","modified_gmt":"2025-08-21T17:26:18","slug":"trumpets-of-pretension","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/?p=586","title":{"rendered":"Trumpets of Pretension"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>The little dog shoved a green onion up its nose, convinced it had transformed into a mighty elephant.<br>It strutted around, flunking its \u201cgreen trunk\u201d like it owned the jungle.<br>But identity crises don\u2019t make you powerful\u2014no matter how pretentious you are, you\u2019re not an elephant, you\u2019re garnish with low self-esteem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The little dog shoved a green onion up its nose, convinced it had transformed into a mighty elephant.It strutted around, flunking its \u201cgreen trunk\u201d like [&#8230;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":587,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[4],"class_list":["post-586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humour","tag-humour"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=586"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":588,"href":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/586\/revisions\/588"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/587"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.viewscopes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}